I Tried to Recreate the Original Four Loko to Prepare for a Summer of Chaos

Katie Way had a fun assignment from Vice: try and recreate the banned Four Loko drink and write about her attempts.

To be totally transparent, I was born in the wrong generation: I should be 31 right now, because if I was, I would have taken the full brunt of the original Four Loko craze directly to the forehead. Unfortunately, I was in tenth grade in November 2010, when the FDA banned alcoholic energy drinks. So, while nobody reading this has had an OG Four Loko in over a decade, my memory isn’t the sharpest—I was probably worrying about how to get a good PSAT score or some bullshit like that when I was tentatively sipping a lukewarm watermelon flav Loko in a Safeway parking lot. (To be honest, if OG Loko existed when I was finished with puberty, I’d probably be a very different person—someone, at least, who’d gotten her stomach pumped during college.)

I wish I could get a gig where I had to try and make a boozy alcoholic beverage with insane amounts of caffeine and then write about it. I will admit a time when Red Bull and vodka” was a drink I drank a lot.

Also, come on Katie… you definitely had your stomach pumped in college.

April 15, 2021

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